My Darling Smartypants

Charlie has a new trick called "clean up." I tell him to go get his scattered toys one-by-one and he grabs them and drops them back into his toybox. And when he misses the toybox in his haste and it falls outside, he picks it up again and deliberately places it inside. He learned the trick in <10 minutes. He is so smart!!!!! Not surprised!

Tick Tock

Yesterday was two years to the date of that super scary phone call - one of the top worst days of my life - a worst day that led to the best decisions of my life. Last year October 6 came and went without me noticing. This year I was not so oblivious, but I accept that. This two-year anniversary is just a reminder that the other special two-year anniversary is right around the corner!

DITD (down in the dumps - not to be confused with DITB)

Back to the grind. At least I have a visit from my parents to look forward to. Still, I'm feeling melancholy & not exactly sure why. It could be due to hormonal imbalances. I've been especially imbalanced since my period came back nine months ago. Though I feel mostly back to myself physically, the messed-up hormones plus my fatigue plus my arthritic hands are everyday reminders of what I've been through and how different my body is now.

Let me reflect more on Saturday, and maybe that'll put a smile on my face?

First off, Miles and I went to the Will and Anders house show in SF last Wednesday. It was at a Mission loft and the hosts were a very nice young couple. At one point the guy noticed from across the room that Miles didn't have a bottle opener for his beer, and he came over to offer assistance - we're talking that sort of nice. There were about 30 people and it was very cozy. Anders played first and it sounded amazing. I wasn't very familiar with him but his songs and voice were instantly memorable. He played a song called Don't Let the Darkness In about his dog that he said he'd just finished while up in Portland - it's so good it's still stuck in my head. Will played second, and what can I say other than it was the very best? I would've been extremely pleased if the SF house show was all there was. But... then we hosted our very own house show!

So on Saturday we weren't expecting them to show up til later since they had such a long drive up to Guerneville. But the doorbell rang around 5:30 and I saw the top of tall Anders' head through the glass! They took powernaps while dinner cooked. Then my long lost fellow Marooned friend Sarah and her BF Cameron arrived. It was like a day hadn't passed between us! I made bbq pulled pork sandwiches, garlic mashies and salad. We were well-stocked on booze: fridge full of Budweisers, Blue Moons, Pliny the Elder, Blind Pig and champagne; and pantry full of whiskey, wine, and many half-full liquor bottles. We ate and drank and joked around. Will was impressed with Miles' childhood baseball photo signed by Ozzie Smith. He also joked that he told his fiancee that the fam was moving to Guerneville! Sarah and I demonstrated that our patented synchronized swoon hadn't lost a beat in twelve years. Guests eventually arrived - and when I say "guests" I mean all of seven other people - 8 of 11 paid tickets were no-shows! So there were a total of 13 people, including Anders and Will. Can you imagine your favorite dude playing in your own living room to such a tiny crowd?! I can now!!! Anders played first. I recognized many songs already just from SF - and he sounded so amazing. I was stoked to hear Don't Let the Darkness In again. I'm now quickly fixing the fact that I don't know his material. He was so at ease playing and talking between songs - "So how's everyone doing?" was kind of a joke since everyone had already been talking to everyone else. Then Will played. It was the very very best. Kind of like how ginger boy cats are "the very very best." A couple songs in, he asked if anyone had any questions and Miles said "I have a question - can you play something off Redo the Stacks? We sort of got married to that record." And he obliged with Rock n Roll Eyes!! Later a dude asked for something from Carlton Chronicles, and Will played I Feel Too Young To Die. He sort of forgot bits of the song and it was really cute watching him try to sort it out in his head. He played the following: Almost Let You In (a fave), Triggers & Trash Heaps, Rock N Roll Eyes (swoon), Take The Maps, Atlanta (all-time fave), Alabama Crusade, Kept On The Sly, Philo Manitoba, I Feel Too Young To Die, a song about Bastrop and inflatable pools and devils crossing the state line, and a couple others. Then everyone wanted more and Miles asked if Will & Anders ever played together - and so they did! Anders sang the first song with Will doing harmonies. And then they played Just To Know What You've Been Dreaming, and it sounded awesome with Anders' backing vocals and guitar bridge! So good!!! BTW, Charlie was so good with everyone & he was a huge hit! He went from person to person for pets for a while and then just laid down in the middle of the room! Joseph made himself scarce all night, of course. Nutsy - poor painkiller-ed Nutsy who had 8 teeth pulled the day before - was around but not very social. Douglas was present but hesitant. During a song, Doug ran out to the middle and then spazzed, twitched, and ran full speed out of the room! One by one our guests departed. Sarah and Cameron left earlier than I hoped for, but they had far to drive in the morning. Miles, Will and I talked til late in the kitchen about baseball, facebook, children, touring, the Green Bay Packers and other things. It's awesome watching Miles talk to a fellow die-hard St. Louis Cardinals fan - he gets so adorably animated. In the morning I made breakfast for the dudes - B&LG, little sausages, eggs, and hash browns that wouldn't brown. I wasn't very pleased, but both dudes cleaned their plates. So it was either passable, or they're just very polite. Which they are... so wdk. We bid them adieu and they got on the road to Reno, but not until the Japanese tourist side of me asked for Polaroids. Miles and I basked in the joy of the weekend the rest of Sunday & cuddled with our animals. Even Charlie was pooped from all the excitement and he flopped on the floor all day long.

Chosen For Everything

Will Johnson and Anders Parker played in our living room this weekend...
Slow-cooked bbq pork, synchronized swoon, beer jugs and Cardinals mugs, Don't Let the Darkness In, Charlie making fans, Magical Johnson, a "we got married to" Redo the Stacks request, dual harmonizing songs, That's A Winner, biscuits and lumpy gravy, and goodbye polaroids. In shorter form - I am very pleased!!


Miles and I and Charlie and the zoo were all very tired after they left on Sunday, so we all spent the day snuggling.

Anticipating Doritos

listen, poor my little girl, open your eyes it's too bright. listen, oh my little girl, squinting your eyes at the light.

i never knew how you tried, i never knew at all, until you lay in the hospital, silly cone round your head. i never thanked you for tryin, i never thanked you at all, til you lay in that hospital, no more movement at all.

Leader of the Pack

Charlie had a wonderful weekend in Santa Cruz. He got to play with two Chesapeake Bay Retrievers - Ruby (6) and Scout (10). Boy, did he learn a lot from the adults! We took him to the dog beach and let him off leash for the first time, and he did great! He sniffed butts with at least 10 other dogs. His favorites were a yellow lab named Hunter and a Corgi named Mac. Mac, however, did not return Charlie's affections. We also took the gang for a hike:




Charlie was so pooped after the beach that he slept the rest of the afternoon AND evening.

Charlie is getting so big, I think he's about 40 pounds now!!! We enrolled him in "puppy kindergarten" which starts in two weeks. There will be about ten other puppies - several labradors, a german shepherd, a mini poodligog and some others. I'm glad to hear there are other large breed pups for him to interact with. I can't believe we've had him for 10 weeks already, as well as 10 weeks only! He is looking so grown-up these days - his hair is getting all shiny and slick - not puppy-like fuzziness anymore. He spends a great deal of his day outside the crate now, now that he's so good at holding his pee. He's never once had an accident in the car, and this weekend he gets to go on a car-ride all the way to Santa Cruz for an extended playdate!

dark & light

I didn't write this:
"The challenges of survivorship are many. More than anything else, it is the searing recognition of mortality that changes everything. From this moment forward, all of life will be viewed through a double lens as we appreciate the possibilities of both a long life and a greatly abbreviated one. This dual view may actually, over time, enrich our lives. We make a conscious and willing choice, each of us living with cancer, to go on, to take and to appreciate the darkness as well as the sunlight. We hold dear the night as well as the morning."

Closing Down My House

Charlie is 15 weeks tomorrow! He is growing like a weed, and has just passed 30 pounds now. His head alone looks like it weighs 30 pounds!!


He's learned so much in 7 weeks, and he's so incredibly well-mannered and smart! He learned how to shake in just 5 tries! He now knows sit, down, shake, stay, drop it, mealtime, bedtime, and soon he'll know heel. He played/terrorized two puppies the other night that were a third his size. I experience the true meaning of "puppy
dog eyes" every time I tell him it's bedtime. Could he be any cuter? Douglas loves Charlie and is desperate to be buddies, while wary of Charlie's size at the same time. Charlie tries to "shake" for Douglas, which never ends well!

Douglas is still ever-cuddly.




Nutsy and Joseph still like laying in the sun.


I still like Centro-matic.

Happy Birthday to Charlie!!!

Today is Charlie's 3-month birthday!!!