Farmhouse VERSUS Farmstead

I had a most wonderful birthday! Miles planned a mystery dinner and told me to not get too excited, which was obvious misdirection because we went to Farmhouse! I had the strip loin and Miles had the halibut with potato foam. We split the spring greens, fava bean pasta, seared salmon and s'mores parfait. It was all very delicious and dinner lasted over two hours. Earlier that day my boss (who shares my actual birth date) took me and Miles to lunch at Underwood, and of course I got the pancetta mac-and-cheese! On Friday Miles and I ate dinner at Big Bottom Market, where I had a bbq beef brisket sandwich that probably is in my top three now. Followed that with some discount cocktails at our new favorite neighborhood bar. On Saturday we drove to Yountville for some Ad Hoc fried chicken! It was 108 degrees at one point. We were determined to have a drink somewhere outside in the incredible heat, and we landed at a place called Farmstead. We were in the shade but it was still almost (but not quite) unbearable. When we got home it was still 95 degrees out so we went to the river at 5 PM for some lounge time. So to re-cap, we ate a ton of really great food, and I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday nor a better person to spend it with!

Potato Fort

A lot of patio beer-thirty has been happening in the last three months. The weather has been incredible. We've been having patio beers in so many locations: Dawn Ranch, Russian River Brewing, Stumptown, La Rosa, Underwood, Northwood, and of course on our beautiful deck. Summertime here feels so amazing. And now we have birdfeeders so we've been hanging with the Steller's Jays and the hummers. Miles had a birthday. We saw Chris Isaak (who is not dead by the way) and had dinner with Mom and Pop Franchino. I'm about to have a birthday in a couple days, yet I still get carded for looking about 19. I guess that's nicer and nicer the older I get! My parents visited and 10 feet in front of us we watched a great blue heron catch and eat a mouse. We went to a celebratory party in the city and saw friends and stayed up way too late. I went to see Hightower's last show and saw many people I have not seen in many years, including more than one ex-boyfriend. I found a new therapist. Summer makes it easier to not be anxious but my most-spoken phrase these days is "I hate going to sleep." Here is a photo of Charlie's giant black nose.

Your Gunshots Were Stuck On Repeat

Miles has a new job he likes very much. We went to the batting cages and left with very sore muscles. We saw Will Johnson and the New Multitudes crew at the Fillmore and ate at Tommy's Joynt. We put beautiful hardwood flooring in our downstairs room (well, I didn't really do any of it). We went to Beer Republic with the Charles. We ate at Underwood. We went to Stark's Happy Hour. I went to Baby Blues BBQ and celebrated Dan's bday and met his GF. We went to Bruno's and I cleaned my pot pie plate so well the server told me I probably couldn't get any more food off of it. I fired my new therapist. I got a root canal. I took some Vicodin. We watched Friends with Benefits (good, LOL!) and the Roommate (bad, but better than a 4%). And we looked at some pictures of Ryan Gosling's dog.

For The Wynn!!

My mammogram came back without anything suspicious. Hooray! What next? I feel like I don't really have the urge these days to see my oncologist, which is such a change from when I couldn't wait for my 3-month check-up. Of course there is that part of my brain that is worried about feeling too complacent with my good health... but I try to tell that brain to be quiet. I've just started on serotonin pills to see if that will help quiet my obsessive-anxiety brain down. I saw a new therapist this week, and it was promising. She told me to eat potatoes before bed. I won't argue with that! She hopes to be able to help me with her 3-fold approach: cognitive/dietary/supplement therapy. I hope so.

It's been a nice few weeks. We celebrated K's fortieth birthday in style. We hung out with Brandy and Brad and showed them our backyard walking trail with the pups. We had a visit from family friends and went zinfandel & chocolate tasting. Life in Sonoma County is pretty darn nice, especially when it's winter but it feels like spring and sometimes summer. Miles learned that his colon is healthy and I feel relieved. We I had a great V-Day dinner at Zin in Healdsburg where we had one of the best appetizers of our lives... some sort of beef bowl with jalapeno cornbread sticks. And for V-Day Miles wrote me a romantic song about spraying watery doo doo. He is a very special dude and he is all mine and I love him!!!!!!

I Thought Heidi and Seal Would Last...

I have a follow-up mammogram this week. We will also be taking Charlie with so he can be a city-dog for a day. I had a great weekend. Happy hour with the girls at work on Friday. Shameless marathon all weekend with Miles as it poured rain outside. Football in the background on Sunday. I managed to clip out all of Charlie's ear-dreadlocks, now he is so soft and fuzzy back there, my favorite! I feel very boring (not bored) right now, but I am very content.

Munday Fonday

What a whirlwind it was over the holidays, and now it's finally wound down. A fantastic work holiday party at Ad Hoc where Thomas Keller asked me personally what I would like on the menu of my dreams. I replied: Fried chicken, mac n cheese, and mashed potatoes with tons of butter, pretty please. And so it was.

Then Miles and I went to Texas for lots of Liverpool Rummy, Yahtzee and movies, an Aggie basketball defeat, ham Christmas dinner, Food Network shows and a trip to Austin to have awesome barbeque and $4-pitchers of Lone Star and then as many longnecks as we could hold:



We then had a fun week with a cousin visiting: long dog walks, scary movies, candy shops, a full splurge New Years Day meal at Scopa, and a late night New Years Eve with dancing and hats and bonfires and sleepovers and resolutions with old friends.

And as if that weren't enough excitement, we wrapped it up with a Sunday (Monday) Funday with an old friend. Bowling, Yahtzee and ping pong! Hurry up and move back, Dando!

Spring Break at Lake Havasu

What a lovely weekend I had with my wonderfully handsome and kind husband. How did I land such a perfect catch?! I hope we grow old together for a very long time. These days I just about let myself believe that we will, though I have my moments of uncontrollable panic that cancer is just laying dormant somewhere in my body. Let's not talk about that now...

On Saturday we took Charlie to Barley and Hops for some early afternoon beers on their deck, and he made a few friends. We topped it off with supper, pool and beers at Stumptown, and a quiet SOA night at home. Sunday Occidental breakfast and a nice long walk in the woods with Charlie Barls. One of these days on the way home we're gonna stop and talk to the giant pig that wags its tail. Life is so quiet and full of love. Couch time with Miles, Nutsy, Joseph, Douglas and Charlie is my very favorite.

Road To Recovery

Nutsy gained nearly a pound!!! I was so happy I cried. This is the first time she has gained weight in probably a year. I am so very happy!!

I had a 6-month check up with my oncologist. I left the appointment also so happy I was crying. Seeing him always helps relieve the cancer/health/mortality anxiety I have. I got a thumbs up. I asked his opinion on doing a whole body PET/CT scan before having kids ... and his answer was he did not think I should, nor did he think I needed to. Instead, there is a newish blood test that can locate a single cancer cell within 1,000,000,000 blood cells. He told me I can take that test, and that I will get a zero reading, and then I can move on! I love a cancer doctor that instills such confidence.

Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful. Abundant good food and wine on actual turkey day. Wine tasting with Miles and his Dad on Friday. Saturday got the good news about Little Grandma. Sunday dog parking with Charlie in Healdsburg, followed by magic hour and bar food at Beer Republic, followed by an enjoyable rom-com at home with the entire four-animal zoo on our laps.

We saw Like Crazy last night. It made me want to vomit like crazy and it made Miles want to pour garlic butter on top of the popcorn like crazy.

Ear-Rubs VERSUS Eye-Rubs

My little grandma likes her crumpled ear rubbed.

My Little Grandma

Our little Nutsy grandma is not doing so well. Well, she's actually doing okay at the moment but we know that she's declining. She's slowly lost weight over the last year. But now that's changed to a rapid weight loss, and we've eliminated the easily treatable things it could be. The possible explanations we're left with aren't good, and she's so elderly and fragile that treatment would likely be more cruel than helpful. So we've decided to simply make the rest of her life as joyful and comfortable as possible, at least until it becomes apparent that we have to make a hard decision for her. For now, she's still enjoying lots of things. She eats voraciously, still likes pets and eye-rubs, still likes sleeping on our laps or on the couch with us, still hisses spunkily at the Charlie, still likes stretching and running over for treats, and even still plays with a string occasionally or tries to eat the cords on the blinds. After her check-up on Monday where we learned she'd lost 18% of her body weight in just a few months, we were feeling very grave and were ready to say our goodbyes very soon to spare her quality of life. But it is/was so hard to commit to pulling the trigger. I talked to Nutsy Monday night and asked her to let us know if she was ready to go or not. She responded on Tuesday by doing all of the happy things listed above with a renewed vigor. So after a long talk with our vet today we've decided to focus on palliative care now, and enjoy the time we have left with a happy Nutsy - whether that be days or weeks or months. I love my little grandma and it will be so hard to let her go ... but I will when the time comes. And then her and Trigger can snuggle again.