I Beat August Bodine

It's been a fun couple of weeks! Miles and I stayed at the Wynn in Las Vegas for four nights and it felt like such a real vacation. We completed everything on our checklist except for roulette (good) and swimming in the pool (bummer). We: Ate at SW Steakhouse, spent a retarded amount of money at XS at Encore and danced, played tons of poker, did the freefall on top of Stratosphere twice, ordered biscuits & gravy room service, saw Cheryl Hines and Treo Hatchets (Teri Hatcher), paid for our trip in cash, made friends with Bill, and bet on the World Series of Baseball. I continued my excellent record of taking down small Vegas tourneys and won $1300 in one of the Wynn dailies, and angered a cocky young drunkard in the process. It was our funnest trip yet & and we'll certainly stay at the Wynn again.

Last weekend we went ziplining in our backyard... well, in Occidental. It was well worth it.

Charlie has been enjoying the river for some time now, but it's river season now for the humans.

I turn another year older tomorrow.

Been A While

It's been some time. One particularly important piece of news: I bowled 188 the other night! Also 160 and 135 - averaging to 161! I'm pretty pleased with this. My parents visited a while back. That is always ve pleasing. We played lots of games, as we are wont to do... billiards, Yahtzee, dealer's choice poker, Liverpool Rummy, more Yahtzee. We ate good food. Dad bonded with the Charlie. I miss them now, but hopefully not for long! Charlie had his Year One birthday! We didn't get him a doggy cake like we wanted, but we did take him for an extra long fun day dedicated to him! I started a gluten-free diet three weeks ago. The idea is that without gluten, my diet will be less inflammatory, and with less inflammation my wrists, shoulder and back will ache less. I'm hesitant to get too excited... but there really seems to be a difference!!!! Now the only thing left it seems is the arthritic type pain in my hands, which was always a separate pain from the rest. The gluten-free has not been as hard as I thought it could be. No tonkatsu though, what?!?!! All in all I have felt pretty good lately, though anxiety lingers and takes hold a lot still. After-work Charlie walks are a good temporary cure though. We cut Miles' long hair, now no longer long. He looks as he did when we first met and it is my personal fave! Swoon!!!

Negative Negative Negative

Surprise steak and movie drop. I love the Nard-Dog!! And surprise DST drop this weekend! I'm getting some adrenal glad testing done soon. Will it tell me something about my fatigue? Hopefully.

Rain Outside, Cozy Inside

It's a great to have cancer in my rear view mirror. The way the mind forgets is amazing. I don't think about cancer much anymore, and I've all but forgotten what baldness was like except when I see the photos. No matter what, life moves ahead. I'm just pleased my brain is following suit. I haven't had much anxiety lately. I can't think of a true panic moment in the last month. I'm not sure what changed. Maybe my stress in general has decreased? Having a dog is so awesome, it's true what they say about animals enhancing your life. Of course I have my moments where I freak out about losing him and how in the world will we deal with that... but that's typical me. At least the thoughts are fleeting. On the other hand, Nutsy - my little girl going on 15 - I have a feeling she's going to be around forever. My little grandma girl. Miles and I talked last night about how much Trigger would have loved our new house. On Valentine's Day I came home to a candlelit, daffodil and wine dinner -- with apple-cinnamon pork roast and mashies & peas. Miles is the sweetest and he is my best friend, and for that he gets to eat all the saltwater taffy!!! I am so blessed. Nothing could be better than sitting on the couch beside the love of my life, with Doug on my lap, also Charlie's head on my lap, Nutsy meowing every 5 seconds into my ear, and Joseph watching us from his armchair.

WE ARE THE LUCKIEST!!

Tonight I had the most awesome massage locally. The massage was incredibly grounding (I know... royg...), and she was kind and insightful. She went thirty minutes past what she charged me, and sent me home with mini-daffodils and carnations. She also told me that she thinks I'll be a teacher and a leader someday, based on the hardship I've endured.

Now onto a "therapist" of a different kind... Last week my psychotherapist told me that when I talked about anxiety, he felt a "swarm of bees" between us. And also that he felt a lack of connection between us. I guess it's time to find a new therapist...

I love my husband! I love my puppy/real dog! I love my kitties!

The Elusive Joseph

Made an appearance on my lap tonight!

How Many More Days Til Five Years?

Charlie officially weighs in at 71 pounds. We finally granted him bed privileges and it's the very very best! Nevermind that it means sometimes I have 70 pounds of crushing puppy-weight across my chest... it's so adorable when he falls asleep with his head in the crook of my neck! It's even more adorable when Douglas joins in on the cuteness, which is usually! Speaking of Douglas, here is a nice morning glamour shot of him:


We took the Christmas tree down and it made me sad so Miles turned on the banister lights and that made me happy. For old times sake here's a photo of me and the tree:


So I found that, indeed, I have sleep apnea - but the good news is that it's a "very mild" on the severity scale. That means I can do nothing and probably be fine for ten years as long as I don't get fat.

Nutsy has serious oral disease/inflammation and is getting the rest of her teeth removed! Poor thing! I feel terrible for her and wonder how long she's been in pain for. The vet told me I could give her warm baby food to help her eat more - and I had flashbacks to when Trigger's vet told me the same thing. :( But this is very different, so I don't think we're gonna lose Nutsy any time soon. She is one spry old grandma cat!

Charlie has parasites and an ear infection. Sheesh, what is happening with the zoo!? I have a hunch he may have gotten one or both as a present from his doggie daycare. He is pretty obliviously happy-go-lucky through the meds though, save for being a little lethargic.

Joseph has been more of an upstairs-cat than downstairs-cat lately, hooray!

Banana Bandana

Christmas has come and gone, and it was very merry. Miles gave me the awesomest gift ever!!! We hosted it at our house with my brother, Miles' dad and cousin, and two real "real dogs"! Five adults, three real dogs and three cats - hooray! We had a Honey Baked Ham, along with baked chicken, sour cream mashies, stuffing, brown gravy and green beans. I was proud of choreographing dinner so well. Charlie had a super time and pooped himself out following Scout and Ruby around the house.

Isn't he the handsomest? He is growing up so much. We got him a blue bandana for Christmas, and it only increases the incredible essence of his handsomeness! We've taken him to the beach a bunch lately - it's so nice and empty these days because of the cold and the rain. He's learned several new games: catch-the-ball-in-the-air-when-we-bounce-it-super-high and jump-up-and-grab-the-stick. He's also been interested in the ocean lately, though he doesn't go past the whitewash yet (which my paranoid self is thankful for).

I had a follow-up mammogram last week, but I haven't heard back yet... but isn't no news good news? I also had a pelvic sonogram. Though I'm BRCA negative and therefore considered not at increased risk for ovarian cancer, my gynecologist said she still likes to keep an eye on it in particularly young breast cancer patients. So yeah, just one more thing to be anxious about.

My polysomnography test was a while back. That was pretty fun. It took less than five minutes to conk out even though I had fifteen wires attached to my head, face and nose, hah. I'll get the results in a week.

Vic Ruggiero is playing a solo show, I'm so excited!! That'll be fun and also a bit nostalgic.

My "Real Dog"

Charlie is becoming such a real dog. We've been leaving his crate door and the bedroom door open at night. He conks out in his crate, then at some point sleeps behind his crate, then is back in his crate by the time I wake up. He's so tired still when I get up that sometimes he doesn't even want to go out to baubles! He's also such a teenager right now... on mornings when Miles drives me to work, we've always brought him along in the car. Nowadays, when we call him to come out to the car, he plops down on his doggie bed and looks at us like "do I HAVE to???? LOL. It's funny how much dogs are creatures-of-habit. When he comes in from the rain and I forget to towel him off, he sits down and noses at the towel. I love it when he stretches in the morning when I wake him up - he stretches so long and hard, and tries to walk at the same time. I love how when I sit on the floor, he'll wake up from a dead sleep to come plop down on my lap. He's gotta be 65 - 70 pounds now, he's such a big puppy!!!

Not Forever Now

Listening to Evangeline and drinking hazelnut coffee. Things have been so-so lately. Doing much better with work stress. But unfortunately still all messed up hormonally. When will it get better? If things don't regulate soon, my docs suggested turning off my ovaries for 3-6 months. That means hot flashes and other nice menopausal side effects again. Question: Which bad scenario is better? I had the gnarliest panic attack ever last week. I kept seeing (SWMB not SWME) a person wearing a giant stuffed buffalo head - some weird Pagan symbolism? Wdk what was going on, but it was completely terrifying. Another thing is I possibly have sleep apnea. Tomorrow night I'm doing a polysomnography test. I'm pretty excited for it because had I chosen an academic career, it would have been in sleep & dream research. Even though I like the rain and the fog hanging inbetween the trees, I really wish it wasn't already dark when I leave work.