My Heart Is Made Of Gravy

I've been 32 for almost a month. Feels pretty weird to think of it, I'm not even used to being 30. It's been a nice couple weeks. We had a fun visit from a cousin. Forget the haters (well, there are just a couple) who just can't understand why the heck we moved out here and want to be rude about it. It's validating when houseguests from another state are checking out property in the area before they even head back home LOL. We managed to see some July 4th fireworks by happenstance. We spent a couple days with our feet in the river, getting hello-ed and heckled by the canoe folks. We saw some old friends and talked about death around a campfire. It's very intriguing to hear how other people - especially peers - feel about death. I don't think many are plagued with the panic I have, and I want to know what makes them not so, so I can learn to be that way too. We watched Melancholia which was so nerve-wracking but so beautiful - an intense and pretty accurate portrayal of anxiety. Anyhow. We listened to nothing but Pavement. We had a lot of Chad Michael Murrays! We introduced Namo to his extended family and there was spitting and hissing. Douglas never ceases to amaze me with his unconditional love and yearning to connect with every living being. P.S. I pooped my pants.